Decisions decisions...

I've been very stressed over what direction to take my life, what path I should be on. I always assumed that I would go on and further my education after I graduated with my bachelors in Chemistry. Honestly, I wanted to do something along the lines of environmental chemistry research. I loved, and still do, reading and learning as much as I can about the effects humans have on the environment. My plans took a back seat when I found out I was pregnant, unexpectedly. Although she was unplanned, she was not unwanted. I was overjoyed to be pregnant and I can say the same for my husband, then boyfriend at the time. We were determined to make it work.

I was only out of college a few months when I found out I was pregnant. I did go on a few interviews for chemistry research positions but none of them seemed too thrilled that I was pregnant, especially since there can be a lot of things to stay away from in a chemistry lab while your pregnant. Coming in as a new employee and with very little experience, you can see why I wasn't a top pick. So I stayed with my job as a waitress up until we had the baby. My husband was just working as an undergraduate research assistant at the time so we knew we would not be able to afford daycare, to be honest I wasn't to crazy about the idea anyway. The whole time I was preparing for our daughter to be born I was going crazy trying to decide what to do in regards to school. What was I going to do for a career? I had worked so hard in school and it felt like I was wasting it by not going out and actually doing something with it.

My husband and I talked about the topic quite a bit, he too was also interested in going to graduate school. The two of us in graduate school? both having a demanding schedule? how was Autumn supposed to fit into this scenario? The schools I initially wanted to go to were very far away, I'm talking about Alaska. Since Autumn was way more important than any job I would ever have I decided to choose a schooling program that would allow me to stay at home with her and base my school hours around her needs. There are not many programs out there like that!

The combination of me having a love of chemistry and helping kids made me start to consider teaching. I had the privilege of having an amazing chemistry teacher help me out when I was younger. This really struck me as a great path for me, great hours for being a parent and I get to do something I love. Everything went great getting into the school I wanted and even finishing up all of my classes for certification. Now here is my dillema...

I've been home with Autumn for almost 3 years, I can't believe she is almost 3!! Now I have my son who is only 7 months old. I have been in this part time program for 2 years and I'm just about done, I'll have my Secondary Chemistry Post-Bac Certification/MS in Teaching, Learning, and Curriculum as soon as I finish these last MS class electives. It seems silly but I just feel more compelled to spend time with my children than to put the time into finishing my degree. I'm going to push through and finish because I've already come so far, I just don't see myself using it at all right now.

When I left work to have my daughter I didn't know how I would survive not working, I couldn't even see myself as a stay at home mom. Now three years later I can't see myself as anything else. I do eventually want to work when my kids are ready for school, but that just seems like so far away. I know a lot of my friends (those without kids) think I just sit at home and lay on the couch but that is far from what I actually do. I feel like I'm doing one of the hardest jobs in the world and even though I don't get paid any monetary amount the time that I get to spend with my children is worth so much more than that.

Passing on the love of science... =)

Labor Pains

Everyone's heard the horror stories of labor, while I was pregnant I had the pleasure of hearing tons and tons of stories. I was a waitress right up until the end of my first pregnancy and along with the "Can I touch your belly?" questions I also got more than enough advice and stories for a lifetime. I wouldn't have changed it though, my customers were great and I still hold dear to my heart all of the guidance, especially from one particular elderly couple that I still truly miss seeing. It only seems fitting that I pass on my own stories now since I feel experienced enough having had two children. 

To start this story I should say that it was freezing outside and snowing. I went into labor at 1am in the morning. We lived about 35 min from the hospital in a town in the middle of nowhere, Philipsburg Pa. We literally had to drive down a snow covered mountain to get to the hospital. When I got to the hospital I was barely dilated. The back labor pains were terrible and started early on. I ended up being in labor for 14 hours and being as stubborn as I was at the time, I had decided not to get an epidural before even going into labor so I held out for as long as I could. After 12 hours of labor I got an epidural. I was beyond exhausted due to not sleeping the night before. The back labor I felt was like no other pain I've ever endured in my life. The doctors said that my body was so tense from the pain it was taking longer for me to dilate. Getting the epidural was like magic, once I felt the medication all the pain went away and all I felt was the pressure. Truly wonderful the medical advancements they have. 

Since I was so exhausted I took a short nap, a little over an hour. The nurses came back in to wake me and told me it was time to push. Only took 30 minutes of pushing, which I guess is pretty good for a first baby or so I was told. Toward the end of the pushing everything became a blur, all I remember is hearing Autumn cry for the first time and the look on my husband's face when they told us "It's a girl". Autumn was born at 2:48pm on February 13th, she was 8lbs 2oz and 22 in long!

The labor with my son was very different, the only thing that was the same is that I started having contractions with them both at the same time of day! How weird is that? 1am in the morning I went into labor with both of my children, what a great time of day to go into labor! Everything with Owen went much faster, which is to be expected. The back labor started immediately when we were at home. This time upon entering the hospital at 2am I asked for an epidural asap! You live and learn. =)

When I got to the hospital I was already 5cm. The only thing I remember from the painful drive to the hospital is me saying to my husband "Don't touch me!". I feel like that is what you see in the movies but I was in so much pain that if he would of touched me I might have punched him in the face. Being the great sport he is, he took in all in stride. It's always great to have a very supportive partner when going through such a stressful ordeal. Nothing was ever too gross or too much for him, which made it so much easier on me. My labor was only 6.5 hours long from start to finish and the whole experience was so much more calm. Owen was born at 7:36am on May 3rd and he was 9lbs 5oz 21in long. Again, one of the best feelings in the world was hearing Owen cry for the first time and hearing "It's a boy!". Waiting to know the sex of both of our children was a great choice and one of the best surprises ever.

All of these memories came flooding back to me yesterday after talking to the woman who had just given me a massage at The Pittsburgh Center for Complementary Health and Healing. I had seen her once before while I was pregnant and she did say that my spine felt out of place but since I was pregnant with Owen it's normal for a lot of things move around and then move back after. (On a side note, prenatal massages are wonderful, best birthday gift to a pregnant wife!) This time she told me that my lower spine was not straight and that she couldn't move my tailbone at all during the massage. She recommended I see a chiropractor for spinal realignment. She also said that I could opt for spinal massage therapy as well. Since I have had on and off severe pains in my lower spine on the right side since I've had Autumn it was good to hear the reason behind it.

The pain in my spine did get better slowly over the year after I had Autumn, however after I had my son, Owen, it got worse again. From talking with my doctors I now know that really painful back labor is usually caused when the baby's head is coming out faced up with the back of the head (the harder part) pushing on the spine and nerves. This was the case for both of my children. This pressure from the hard part of their head can cause a women's spine to move out of place. Often times it corrects itself on it's own, depending on the severity. I'm hoping to go back to see my doctor soon and start some therapy, in the mean time I'm doing some exercises to strengthen my back on my own. Thought I would document all of my memories on this topic before I lose them. Although my back is going to take some work to get back to normal, it could have been a lot worse. I'm thankful everyday for my kids and I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.

Autumn and Owen only a few hours old

Kids room

Shortly after finishing the "baby room" we realized that the floor was on such an angle that putting any furniture it that room would not work out. On to the back up plan! We decided to make the "baby room" into the new play room and then move Owen in with Autumn!

I have to admit that I was a little worried at first, I thought for sure that Owens middle of the night crying would wake her up. She is and was such a good sleeper that I didn't want anything to change that. I shared a room with my little sister which worked out just fine, so I was sure they would adjust just fine! We had just recently finished painting the other room so I wanted to keep up the momentum and redo Autumn's room before rearranging all the furniture and moving Owen in. The room was originally wood paneling, I don't have a good picture of the room before we started, sadly.  The photos below show the process and what it looks like today. Oh and although I helped a lot, I do need to give credit where credit is due... my husband did a large portion of the painting, he was great with all of my directions/critiques (haha) and ultimately did a wonderful job!

After finishing the room, we decided to personalize each side of the room. For Owen we decided on airplanes, Chris has a love for airplanes and we found some really nice decals! For Autumn, she chose a flower fairy garden that also looks great coming out from behind her bed! I'm still waiting on a poster that I bought for Owen's side of the room, which I think will go great with the planes. (http://society6.com/product/Adventure-kJv_Print?tag=typography) The last touch will be adding some pictures of the kids, hopefully I'll get to that soon!

I have to say that despite all the mismatched furniture the room turned out great! The most important thing is that the kids love it and love sharing a room!  Enjoy the photo transformation!

This is the closet and the wood paneling was like this for the entire room.

After the primer was finished.

After the primer was finished.

Finished paint job and furniture back in!

Owen's Crib and dresser.

Autumn's bed!

Closet

Wall decals are up!

New shelf.

Owen's decals 

Room all finished...

...Autumn loves it!

Autumn's Artwork 2011 - 2012

Autumn 1 1/2 years old

Autumn's self hand trace - May 2012

Autumn's Self feet trace - May 2012

Autumn Practicing Writing her name - June 2012

Finger painting Fall Trees - late September 2012

Q-tip painting Fall Tree - late September 2012

Learning to stay in the lines! - October 2012

Candy Corn - October 2012

Thanksgiving Turkey - November 2012

Autumn's 2012 Christmas list

Playing Catch Up

So my plan to keep up with my blog even after Owen arrived did not quite go as planned. Although he is only 7 months old, it feels like so much has happened since I've posted last. Over the next week I'm hoping to catch myself up.

What got me thinking about this again was ordering Autumn's second year photo book, it's scary to think about how easy it is to forget things that have happened over the last 3 years. Looking over her scrap book, old videos and artwork makes me feel even stronger about documenting some of the simple things here in my blog. My children will only be little for a short time and I'd like to create a space to capture some of the memories and my thoughts. I also think it's nice to have something for them to look back on. So here we go...

Arrival of Owen Christopher

Mommy and Daddy photo with Owen

Owen

 Autumn holding Owen for the first time! 

Me and my babies!

Autumn's Daily Quotes...

April 27th 2012 - "I'm just chillin... in the shower...with my toys...." 

May 5th 2012 - "Mommy! You don't have a baby in your belly now so we can wrestle?!" 

May 10th 2012 - "Mommy, I need to check on Owen, he's farting up the storm!" 

May 11th 2012 - "Can we paint daddy's toes sparkle too?"

May 13th 2012 - "Happy Mother's Day Mommy, your my baby!"

June 14th - Autumn: "Peter's Pickled Peppers - Mommy do we have pickled peppers? I think we have some pickled peppers in the fridge!
Mom: No I don't think we do.
Autumn: We need to buy some at the store!

July 10th 2012 - Autumn: Mommy can you lift me up so I can touch the clouds?
Me: Even if I lift you we won't be tall enough to reach the clouds. They are way up high!
Autumn: Daddy's big, can he lift me up really high?
Mom: Daddy's tall but I don't know if he's tall enough to do that, you'll have to ask him when he gets home from work!

July 15th - "Mommy, can you bring the rainbow back?"

August 5th 2012 - "Owen is beautiful!"

August 20th 2012 - "Owen is my baby too!"

September 11th 2012 - "Daddy's a big guy, he talks really loud!" 

September 15th 2012 - "Maybe one day when I'm big I can shave too like daddy."

October 30th 2012 - "I'm sorry Owen for pushing you, but you were in my way. Don't touch my cars!"

November 10th 2012 - "It's dark outside, but it's ok Mommy's here."

November 20th 2012 - "I'm trying to share but I just want to rip it off of him"

November 28th 2012 - "Mommy, you have a big bum I can't get past you down the steps."

December 3rd 2012 - "I love princesses, but when I rip off their arm I get really mad, but when I don't rip off their arm I like them." (Cheap imitation barbie from dollar store given to her fell apart, so funny)

December 4th 2012 - "Mommy, Santa is making a list and checking it twice so Owen better stop crying"

December 9th 2012 - "But daddy can touch the sky, yeah my daddy!"

December 17th 2012 - "Owen, it's ok! I know it's hard being a baby!"

January 5th 2013 - "Can it be New Years again today?"

January 7th 2013 - "Mommy, can you do a favor and check to see if Owen is still sleeping?"

January 24th 2013 - "I like to be really loud for Owen cuz sometimes he cries and I need to make him happy, cuz he likes when I do that he laughs every time!" 

January 24th 2013 - (What is love?)

"Love is when people are hugging and turning on the lights and leaving the lights on to be nice"

January 29th 201 - "I just need to be left alone for a minute!" 

February 5th 2013 - "I just need you to give me a minute to lay down and you guys just keep trying to tuck me in!"

March 20th 2013 - (Eating smiley cookie in the car) *Sigh* "Jesus Christ! I'm getting crumbs everywhere!"

May 3rd 2013 - "Owen is the silliest and nicest boy in the world!"

New Baby Room

As the new baby room gets closer and closer to being finished I feel a sense of relief come over me. There is still work to be done, but the bulk of the painting is finished. Painting the paneling turned out not to be as big of a deal as I expected it to be. It did need two coats of primer and getting into the crevices was a pain but well worth the trouble. The room already looks so much bigger and brighter than it did in the beginning. I've decided to post the before photos here before the final project is finished. We decided to keep all the dark wood trim as it was in really good condition and thought it would look really nice with the paint.

 This first photo is of the entry way to the room. The carpet has already been covered with a blue tarp so it doesn't show the blue carpeting that the room has. 

 This photo shows the inside of the room with the closet. 

This last photo is a closer look inside the room.

**More in progress photos to come **

 Ok, so here are the in-progress photos that I have taken so far of the new baby room/play room. The border between the two colors still needs to be put up as well as other decor items like the curtains. We absolutely love how nice everything turned out especially with our very little painting experience. There are a few issues with the trim in regards to paint pealing off but overall the room looks so much nicer!

I tried to take the same angles from the before shots to show the difference. Here is looking in from the hallway. 

This is a closer look at the two colors. 

 We turned the closet into a usable space for the changing table. It fit in there just perfectly.

Another look at the closet/doorway.

The room still needs a little work but at least we can rest easy if the baby decides to show up sooner than later. 

Questions and more Questions...

Autumn is a talking machine, which I'm used to by now. However, recently the questions about everything started and it's taking me some time to adjust. Not only is it the number of questions its the questions that get repeated over and over and over again. Like for instance, at the moment I am getting asked "Where is my pink necklace?" and if I've counted correctly this is now the 12th time in the last 5 min that I've been asked the same question intermixed with other questions that have also been repeated. It is a quite interesting development as I am forced to explain and analyze even the smallest detail of our day, the parts that are so miniscule that they blend into the background. For instance... why is there a fuzzy in between my toes? why is there dirt on my shoe? why is that car outside beeping? why is it so windy? where did the sun go? why do I have to wear my underwear? What's that sound, mommy, whats that sound, mommy? mommy? mommy? Can you kiss my boo boo again? .... I'm sure this won't be the end of my exploration into the 1000 and 1 questions that are coming at me everyday but I do have to say that I love the communication that I can have with her so in the end it is all worth it.