I've been very stressed over what direction to take my life, what path I should be on. I always assumed that I would go on and further my education after I graduated with my bachelors in Chemistry. Honestly, I wanted to do something along the lines of environmental chemistry research. I loved, and still do, reading and learning as much as I can about the effects humans have on the environment. My plans took a back seat when I found out I was pregnant, unexpectedly. Although she was unplanned, she was not unwanted. I was overjoyed to be pregnant and I can say the same for my husband, then boyfriend at the time. We were determined to make it work.
I was only out of college a few months when I found out I was pregnant. I did go on a few interviews for chemistry research positions but none of them seemed too thrilled that I was pregnant, especially since there can be a lot of things to stay away from in a chemistry lab while your pregnant. Coming in as a new employee and with very little experience, you can see why I wasn't a top pick. So I stayed with my job as a waitress up until we had the baby. My husband was just working as an undergraduate research assistant at the time so we knew we would not be able to afford daycare, to be honest I wasn't to crazy about the idea anyway. The whole time I was preparing for our daughter to be born I was going crazy trying to decide what to do in regards to school. What was I going to do for a career? I had worked so hard in school and it felt like I was wasting it by not going out and actually doing something with it.
My husband and I talked about the topic quite a bit, he too was also interested in going to graduate school. The two of us in graduate school? both having a demanding schedule? how was Autumn supposed to fit into this scenario? The schools I initially wanted to go to were very far away, I'm talking about Alaska. Since Autumn was way more important than any job I would ever have I decided to choose a schooling program that would allow me to stay at home with her and base my school hours around her needs. There are not many programs out there like that!
The combination of me having a love of chemistry and helping kids made me start to consider teaching. I had the privilege of having an amazing chemistry teacher help me out when I was younger. This really struck me as a great path for me, great hours for being a parent and I get to do something I love. Everything went great getting into the school I wanted and even finishing up all of my classes for certification. Now here is my dillema...
I've been home with Autumn for almost 3 years, I can't believe she is almost 3!! Now I have my son who is only 7 months old. I have been in this part time program for 2 years and I'm just about done, I'll have my Secondary Chemistry Post-Bac Certification/MS in Teaching, Learning, and Curriculum as soon as I finish these last MS class electives. It seems silly but I just feel more compelled to spend time with my children than to put the time into finishing my degree. I'm going to push through and finish because I've already come so far, I just don't see myself using it at all right now.
When I left work to have my daughter I didn't know how I would survive not working, I couldn't even see myself as a stay at home mom. Now three years later I can't see myself as anything else. I do eventually want to work when my kids are ready for school, but that just seems like so far away. I know a lot of my friends (those without kids) think I just sit at home and lay on the couch but that is far from what I actually do. I feel like I'm doing one of the hardest jobs in the world and even though I don't get paid any monetary amount the time that I get to spend with my children is worth so much more than that.
Passing on the love of science... =)
Everyone's heard the horror stories of labor, while I was pregnant I had the pleasure of hearing tons and tons of stories. I was a waitress right up until the end of my first pregnancy and along with the "Can I touch your belly?" questions I also got more than enough advice and stories for a lifetime. I wouldn't have changed it though, my customers were great and I still hold dear to my heart all of the guidance, especially from one particular elderly couple that I still truly miss seeing. It only seems fitting that I pass on my own stories now since I feel experienced enough having had two children.
To start this story I should say that it was freezing outside and snowing. I went into labor at 1am in the morning. We lived about 35 min from the hospital in a town in the middle of nowhere, Philipsburg Pa. We literally had to drive down a snow covered mountain to get to the hospital. When I got to the hospital I was barely dilated. The back labor pains were terrible and started early on. I ended up being in labor for 14 hours and being as stubborn as I was at the time, I had decided not to get an epidural before even going into labor so I held out for as long as I could. After 12 hours of labor I got an epidural. I was beyond exhausted due to not sleeping the night before. The back labor I felt was like no other pain I've ever endured in my life. The doctors said that my body was so tense from the pain it was taking longer for me to dilate. Getting the epidural was like magic, once I felt the medication all the pain went away and all I felt was the pressure. Truly wonderful the medical advancements they have.
Since I was so exhausted I took a short nap, a little over an hour. The nurses came back in to wake me and told me it was time to push. Only took 30 minutes of pushing, which I guess is pretty good for a first baby or so I was told. Toward the end of the pushing everything became a blur, all I remember is hearing Autumn cry for the first time and the look on my husband's face when they told us "It's a girl". Autumn was born at 2:48pm on February 13th, she was 8lbs 2oz and 22 in long!
The labor with my son was very different, the only thing that was the same is that I started having contractions with them both at the same time of day! How weird is that? 1am in the morning I went into labor with both of my children, what a great time of day to go into labor! Everything with Owen went much faster, which is to be expected. The back labor started immediately when we were at home. This time upon entering the hospital at 2am I asked for an epidural asap! You live and learn. =)
When I got to the hospital I was already 5cm. The only thing I remember from the painful drive to the hospital is me saying to my husband "Don't touch me!". I feel like that is what you see in the movies but I was in so much pain that if he would of touched me I might have punched him in the face. Being the great sport he is, he took in all in stride. It's always great to have a very supportive partner when going through such a stressful ordeal. Nothing was ever too gross or too much for him, which made it so much easier on me. My labor was only 6.5 hours long from start to finish and the whole experience was so much more calm. Owen was born at 7:36am on May 3rd and he was 9lbs 5oz 21in long. Again, one of the best feelings in the world was hearing Owen cry for the first time and hearing "It's a boy!". Waiting to know the sex of both of our children was a great choice and one of the best surprises ever.
All of these memories came flooding back to me yesterday after talking to the woman who had just given me a massage at The Pittsburgh Center for Complementary Health and Healing. I had seen her once before while I was pregnant and she did say that my spine felt out of place but since I was pregnant with Owen it's normal for a lot of things move around and then move back after. (On a side note, prenatal massages are wonderful, best birthday gift to a pregnant wife!) This time she told me that my lower spine was not straight and that she couldn't move my tailbone at all during the massage. She recommended I see a chiropractor for spinal realignment. She also said that I could opt for spinal massage therapy as well. Since I have had on and off severe pains in my lower spine on the right side since I've had Autumn it was good to hear the reason behind it.
The pain in my spine did get better slowly over the year after I had Autumn, however after I had my son, Owen, it got worse again. From talking with my doctors I now know that really painful back labor is usually caused when the baby's head is coming out faced up with the back of the head (the harder part) pushing on the spine and nerves. This was the case for both of my children. This pressure from the hard part of their head can cause a women's spine to move out of place. Often times it corrects itself on it's own, depending on the severity. I'm hoping to go back to see my doctor soon and start some therapy, in the mean time I'm doing some exercises to strengthen my back on my own. Thought I would document all of my memories on this topic before I lose them. Although my back is going to take some work to get back to normal, it could have been a lot worse. I'm thankful everyday for my kids and I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.
Autumn and Owen only a few hours old
